if you even read this,

read the post before the last. our talk today made me feel like you don't want advice. i tried so hard, and truthfully, i CAN relate to every way that you can. you just can't remember than, and right now especially, i don't expect you to. but i'm here for you. whether you want me to be or not. and i will have piles of advice to give you, even if you think sam is the only one who can give it to you. i wish you would open up your mind to the words i told you today. i have been through it all. maybe not to the exact same extent as you, but i've been through it. i've had a bunch of other friends who have to. i know where you're coming from, i know why you're doing these things. trust me, i have proof right here that shows how life does get better. it always does. i have a million people the back that up as well. it gets better. everything gets better. your sadness and crazy actions gets better. coping and grieving gets easier, opening up to your closest friends gets easier, and learning how to trust gets easier too. believe it or not, i'm saying it from experience. if you haven't realized this, i've had fucked up things happen to me as well. so you're not alone.
if you do decide to come to me again to talk, take my words into consideration. i am here to help. you're one of my best friends and the fact that you're in pain kills me. i can't stand that one of my best friends hates everything going on in her life.
so, please read that post. it may be a few sentences but i wrote it before i knew your situation and it's proof that it always gets better.
even from last week until today, my happiness level has gone up so much. i don't know what it was, but i've realized not to dwell on the things i shouldn't be thinking about.
who knows, everyone is different, but i know you and i sincerely hope you will take into consideration all of the advice and moral support we have for you.