enjoying these last couple of months that i would have normally been hating
does my unplanned future help contribute to the positive changes i've been making lately?
or is it my hope that the future i'm crossing my fingers for will turn out right
i've put my thoughts aside and am literally living in the moment.
although i have more "me" time lately,
i feel like i've really put effort into meaningful friendships and a good time
i don't need to think so far into the future, there is no point. all that would do is make me dread the now.
i can think about tomorrow and the next day but anytime after that seems out of my reach
when i think about how i am really truly happy, i think about how i am really truly sad as well.
i guess it takes some bad emotions to even out the good but at least i'm comfortable.
i want to finish up the bullshit and drive already
when that happens, i won't have a single complaint.
i will do what i want, work, go camping, learn, pursue
with all of those things comes the last bit of happiness i need until things are perfect.
they've never been perfect, but i can just say that is the best it will ever get
and i am happy with that
i am happy
i am almost
how i want.