Thursday, November 17, 2011

I'm really not content with the feelings circling my house. you both have serious issues, and those issues are because of each other. you guys clash and it real affects us. what is worse is that you can easily just snap into a good mood again, like you're just so used to it. i am afraid for him once i'm gone. then again, i am afraid for you guys once i'm gone.
but maybe it will take one person off of your load.
serious changes need to be made. i'm sick of living in this cycle.

get it into your head mom. your actions are shaping the person i will become if i am not careful.
that is why i will do everything i can to not be like you. i may look like you, but that is it. i honestly hope i never, EVER make identical decisions to you.

and for you dad, i am exactly like you. which i can't stand half of your qualities. i see my faults in you, which is why i can't fucking stand it.

i wish i didn't think past the surface like half of the people i know, that way i would be blind to the truth and what is really there.

you guys are NOT good together. when things are the way they are, you guys are making it worse. i have seen a time of good in your relationship but that had dwindled away and we're stuck with the repercussions. i will never be like you two. i am declaring it right here, right now.
i want a happy life, and if that means not turning to you for financial advice, i am fine with it. i will figure shit out on my own.
i'm just worried that you don't see this and you are going to turn out like them. you're blind sometimes too. but maybe when you're my age and living with them alone, you'll finally see that they are complete depressed messes.

maybe it is our job to motivate them into breaking this shitty cycle.

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